Belinda Carlisle - Trendsetter

Since seeing Belinda Carlisle perform a killer set at Rooty Hill RSL earlier this year, I've been binging on the iconic diva's amazing back catalogue of hits. There are so many brilliant songs to appreciate and rediscover but one stands out in particular. Well, two but I always rant about (We Want) The Same Thing - so I thought it was about time I moved on to something else. The song I'm talking about is the lead single from her 1999 greatest hits compilation. "All God's Children" sounds like a morose ballad but it's actually an uplifting, inclusive pop song that echoes the sentiments of the biggest trend in popular music at this very moment - the so-called empowerment anthem.

Now this shit can go one of two ways:

1. Done right - these songs can lift your spirits and make you feel better about being different, lonely, shunned or an outcast. They are the musical equivalent of a warm embrace (Katy Perry's "Firework") or a defiant fuck you to haters (Ke$ha's "We R Who We R") that make you feel braver and stronger.

2. Done wrong - well, I have three words for you. Born. This. Way. If I have to listen to that middle-class, heterosexual white woman tell me "don't be a drag, just be a queen" one more time I'm rushing to the nearest branch of Scientology and begging for the homosexuality cure.

It goes without saying that "All God's Children" belongs in the former category and can actually be viewed as something of blueprint for the genre. While Katy and Ke$ha were still playing with barbies and popping pimples, Belinda was bringing people together with her Metro produced feel-good anthem. I usually shy away from lyrics with religious overtones but the song has a simple message about the need to be loved and accepted that I find universal and true despite all that God talk. The track packs an even bigger emotional punch if you know how supportive Belinda has been of her openly gay son.

But I digress. Given its 1999 release date, I'm pretty sure "All God's Children" was a calculated attempt to recreate the success of Cher's "Believe". The same producers were used, an ageless diva who could pass for 20 was given a dance track and the videos both look like they were shot in the dark. Unfortunately, Belinda's jam stiffed at #66 in the UK. Which, reading between the lines of her amazing autobiography, might have had more to do with her personal demons and record company politics. As for the video, I love it. Ms Carlisle looks absolutely stunning. In fact, she's ten times hotter than the frumpy girl in it - so why isn't she making out with the hot guy with the bushy eyebrows?

Enjoy one of the original and best empowerment anthems from a true legend.

J Lo - Back At Number One

In 1999 Jennifer Lopez made the leap from movies to music with the Darkchild produced gem "If You Had My Love" and pretty much became a superstar overnight. That song topped the charts in Australia and now, twelve years later, she repeats the feat with "On The Floor". I'm not sure what shocks me more. That she's only had two number ones in this country or the fact she succeeded where so many other divas have failed - by reviving a music career (in her 40s, no less) that showed no signs of life as recently as last year. Remember the disaster that was "Louboutins"? Probably not given its non-existent chart position. Everyone is pointing the finger at American Idol but how do you explain her success over here? That show means nothing in this country. I think J Lo just got it right this time. "On The Floor" is a return to the Latin flavoured dance-pop she perfected in the late 90s/early noughties. There's the sunny sample, stupid lyrics about dancing the night away and RedOne's trusty recycled beats. It sounds like a sequel to "Waiting For Tonight" - only with Pitbull tacked on for the kids. Yes, it's a bit disjointed and a blatant copy of Kat DeLuna's last single (I'll save DeLuna-gate for another day) but sometimes a drunk bitch just wants to hum along to "Lambada" and dance like it's 1999. Welcome back, Jenny. I should also give a shout out to my girl Ke$ha, who racks up her 6th consecutive top 10 hit this week with "Blow". She is the new Queen of pop. The End.

Gettin' Sleazy With Ke$ha

I have to preface this review by admitting that I'm struggling to maintain consciousness, hungover to within an inch of my life and wrapped up in my newly purchased K$ hoodie. Needless to say, I'm lovin' myself sick right but now if this write up... is complete and utter rubbish, please excuse me. It's the best I can do on 5% brain capacity. So, where to start? Ke$ha is the era defining voice of our generation. That's pretty much a universally accepted fact but it's still completely mindblowing to see her strut stuff in person. After sitting through endless concerts in which some half-arsed diva tries and fails to come across as an artiste - hello, RiRi! - it is beyond refreshing to see a skanky ho take the stage and rock her box off with no pretence or agenda. K Dollah is just there to have a good time and her energy is utterly infectious. The ironic thing is, beneath that trashy, I don't give a fuck image, lies one of the most talented women in popular music. It's a given that her lyrical genius is beyond comparison but she is also a great singer and phenomenal performer. It could just be the 35 vodka Red Bulls talking but every song sounded just as good, if not better, than it does on record - and no, she didn't mime or sing along to pre-recorded vocals. The Get Sleazy tour is raw and real. And I wish I could go again tonight.

As far as the setlist goes, I think it was pretty spot on - apart from that fact that she didn't sing my jam "Stephen". What a bitch! But I'll forgive her because she belted out all my other faves starting with "Sleazy". Seriously hearing Ke$ha sing "gonna make me cum - all over ya face" (she changed the lyrics) surrounded by a sea of 12 year old girls is one of the most defining moments of life. And to think my first concert was Kylie's "Enjoy Yourself". When I was like practically still in the womb. Next up was the killer combination of "Take It Off", new track "Fuck Him He's A DJ" and "Dirty Picture". All were performed with minimal fuss, behind a drum kit with only some neon lights for distraction but I couldn't take my eyes of K$. She was working it like a 70s punk rocker - only with really gay songs about carrying a water bottle of whiskey in your handbag.

After the restrained opening, Ke$ha came alive and prowled the stage like a wild animal - raising the roof with a brilliant rendition of "Blow". I can't believe I used to hate that song. It gets more amazing every time I hear it. That hit was followed by "Blah Blah Blah", "Party At A Rich Dude's House" and "Backstabber". Three of the highlights from her revolutionary debut. It was finally time for some jams from "Cannibal" and she started with the title track (next single please!) before taking things right down for the night's only ballad - the heartbreaking and truly gorgeous "Harold Song". I cried. Literally. She then introduced "Animal" as the best song she's ever written and it's hard to disagree. What a fucking anthem. I was glad she threw in "Dinosaur" but even more ecstatic when she dragged a cute plus sized queen out of the audience and serenaded him with "Grow A Pear". Complete with penis and pear costumes. Stunning and defining! From then on, K Dollah stuck to the hits. Closing with "Your Love Is My Drug", "Tik Tok" and "We R Who We R". What can I say? In 100 years from now when some dude is compiling the greatest hits of the 21st century all three of songs will be on it. Genius.

10/10

Ke$ha's Forgotten Gem

Tomorrow night I will bask in Ke$ha's heavenly, glitter stained glow for the second time in a year. The first show blew my mind and that was just a five song gig for two hundred desperate fans at Fox Studios. A full blown blast of K Dollar is likely to push me over the edge, so I've been steeling myself for the experience by playing "Animal" and "Cannibal" non-stop for the past couple of weeks. There isn't a bad song on either album but I keep coming back to a handful of tunes. The title track of Ke$ha's debut should have been a single, "Grow A Pear" is modern poetry at its finest, "Kiss N Tell" still rocks my world and all of us can identify with the universal message of "Backstabber". However, my favourite track from the cutting edge safe sex advocate remains "Stephen".

It wouldn't have worked as a single but I love that Ke$ha lets her crazy out and displays some vulnerability - not to mention a stalker streak the size of Kanye West's ego. This is an incredibly demented tune but it works largely due to the diva's inimitable charm and hook filled production. The lyrics are so cute! I'd let her knit me a sweater anytime. Anyway, while wasting time online diligently working, I discovered Ke$ha had even filmed a video for the song. And it's the best thing she's ever done. "Stephen" must have cost $10 to make but it's a lough out loud funny, creative tour de force. Think "Misery" meets "Lars And The Real Girl" for some idea of what to expect! I think was played during her last concert tour but if it passed you by, you're in for a genuine treat. Bow down to the most unique superstar pop has ever seen.

Queen Ke$ha Strikes Again

Ke$ha is the best thing to happen to popular music since the birth of La Toya Jackson. High praise indeed but well deserved. I love this woman so much. She's like a character from a John Waters movie come to life - only with the voice of a drug fucked angel and a batch of killer pop tunes! The divine diva's latest triumph is a breathtakingly brilliant video for her future worldwide number one smash "Blow". I was initially sceptical about the song's selection as the second single from "Cannibal" - I would have gone with the title track or "C U Next Tuesday" - but the film clip has completely changed my mind. It begins with Ke$ha explaining how she was elected to parliament in Uzbekistan, while drinking champagne with unicorns. And it just gets weirder from there. There's an amazing cameo from James Van Der Beek (who looks a million times hotter now than he did on Dawson's Creek), a shoot out with rainbow coloured blood and the best dialogue to grace a music video since Beyoncé's scene stealing performance in "Telephone". Katie Holmes and Michelle Williams must be so jealous. Sure, one of them married for a lot of money and the other is an Oscar nominated actress but James now has a Ke$ha video on his resume. Winner! Watch this masterpiece in all its glory below.

Oh and while I'm on the topic of K Dollar, just a reminder to buy her amazingly titled remix album "I Am The Dance Commander + I Command You To Dance: The Remix Album" on March 22. It's worth buying for the stunning cover alone and the fabulous (not so) new track "F**k Him He's A DJ" - which leaked two years ago. Here's the full tracklist:

1. Blow (Cirkut Remix)
2. The Sleazy Remix (feat. Andre 3000)
3. TiK Tok Untold Remix
4. F**k Him He’s A DJ
5. Animal Switch Remix
6. Your Love Is My Drug Dave Audé Club Remix
7. We R Who We R Fred Falke Club Remix
8. Take It Off Billboard Remix
9. TiK Tok Chuck Buckett’s Veruca Salt Remix
10. Blah Blah Blah (feat. 3OH!3) DJ Skeet Skeet Radio Remix

I can't believe I get to see this holy goddess live in concert in less than two weeks!

Ke$ha's Cannibal - My Psychic Review

The tracklist for Ke$ha's "Cannibal" has finally hit the net and the song titles alone have sent the blood rushing to my man parts. I'm convinced the holy pop icon/genre defining musical maverick has the album of the year on her hands. "We R Who We R" is already a #1 smash on US iTunes and the just leaked "Sleazy" showcases Ke$ha's incomparable versatility. There hasn't been a move this unexpected since Paris revived reggae with "Stars Are Blind"! The anticipation is killing me. So instead of waiting until the 22nd of November to review the legendary diva's sure to be stunning opus, I thought I'd do it now. Sure, I've only heard three tracks but I'm not going to let a minor detail like that rain on my parade. So after dusting off my crystal ball, consulting my tarot cards and dialling mystic Meg - here is my pre-release review of "Cannibal":

1. Cannibal

The opening track is bound to be a generation defining anthem. Ke$ha is known for her subtle, ambiguous lyrics - so this could be about anything but the spirits are telling me it's a metaphor for reinvention set to a hard electro background with a spine tingling chorus. Think Lady Gaga's "Monster" - only 100 times better.

2. We R Who We R

Ke$ha's stunning commentary on gay suicide has already been widely acknowledged as a modern classic and should sweep next year's Grammy awards. There's not a lot to say apart from your faves could never!

3. Sleazy

I have to admit this Bangladesh produced jam tested my faith in our Queen. Under normal circumstances, I'd suggest Ke$ha leave the urban club bangers for true hood divas like Jessica Mauboy and Willow Smith but after three or four listens I was completely hooked. "Sleazy" (bottom of post) is the hip hop song of the year. This inspiring anthem will provide solace to reformed gold diggers everywhere, while the lyric "beats so phat gonna make me cum" will live on forever. Amazing.

4. Blow

Hmmm, the cards tell me Ke$ha has penned a tune about snorting coke from a toilet seat while being fucked from behind. Either that or it's an alt-country ballad about inflating balloons. You decide.

5. The Harold Song

Obviously a touching tribute to Ian Smith from Neighbours.

6. Crazy Beautiful Life

I'm thinking a cover of Seal's "Crazy" mashed with the Ace of Base classic "Beautiful Life".

7. Grow A Pear

The lazy interpretation of this title is another song about a bad boyfriend who needs to grow a pair of balls and be a man. But that's too obvious for one of the sharpest minds of our times. Rather, I suspect Ke$ha's has written a song about organic farming in a bid to singlehandedly stop global warming. Grow a pear, people!

8. C U Next Tuesday

Originally titled "C.U.N.T.", this song has been doing the rounds for a couple of years now. I'm glad she finally included it on "Cannibal" because it's always been one of my faves - and the closest Ke$ha will probably ever get to a cute, low key semi-acoustic ballad.

9. Animal (Billboard Remix)

The title track of her glorious debut really should have been a single, so I'm glad to see it getting some love here. I'm hoping for a cheesy Almighty/Bimbo Jones-esque remix but knowing how Ke$ha likes to keep things dark and dirty, it will probably sound like a Marilyn Manson track from the 90s.

10/10

Eva - Ke$ha Approved Newcomer

So Eva is a new American pop diva with really bad taste in heels if the cover of "Not My Daddy" is any indication (above). Usually that alone would be enough for me to feature her on the blog but what makes her even more amazing is the co-writer of her official debut single. I know it's hard to believe but Queen Ke$ha took time away from revolutionising pop music as we know it to pen this stunning anthem. Either that or Eva found it rotting in a bin outside Ke$ha's mansion but I digress. "Not My Daddy" is big, dumb fun. The song sounds like a B-side from "Animal" - yes, it's that good! - only slightly more bubblegum and considerably less in your face. Which isn't surprising given that Eva cites Britney Spears at her "Oops!...I Did It Again" peak (LOL) as her inspiration. But I won't hold that sad fact against her. Give the track a listen and check out this brief behind the scenes clip from her soon to be released video. I love her already!

Ke$ha Vs P!nk

The world changed forever on Friday when the lead single from Ke$ha's "Animal" re-release was unveiled. I fully expected the voice of our generation to deliver the goods but "We R Who We R" raises the bar of musical perfection even higher than I thought possible. Ke$ha's new anthem offers a riveting insight into the human condition with its touching message of acceptance and revelatory lyrics about social mores. But it's not all deep and meaningful. The diva's angelic vocals and Max Martin or Dr Luke's (it's still unclear who oversaw this masterpiece) crisp production make "We R Who We R" more infectious than herpes and a late contender for single of the year. It's official. Ke$ha is the new Queen of electro-pop! I was originally going to write about the fact that Gaga and Robyn have both been made redundant in one fell swoop but I thought I'd compare "We R Who We R" with P!nk's latest single "Raise Your Glass". Both tracks were apparently conceived by the same producers and examine similar themes - yet Ke$ha takes pop music to exhilarating new highs on her sure to be #1 smash hit, while P!nk's stillborn party anthem covers the same ground as her last ten singles. It was always going to be hard for P!nk to compete with a living legend but I honestly didn't think the outcome would be this one sided.

In the name of scientific research I've decided to break this down into categories. Starting with:

1. The Cover Art

The "We R Who We R" cover is truly iconic. It vividly captures Ke$ha's raw beauty and brooding sex appeal, while P!nk looks like a slightly more masculine version of Adam Lambert on hers. I note she's also hired Mariah's army of photoshop experts, while the realest girl in pop since Mutya wears her freckles and glorious rat's nest as a badge of pride. Ke$ha is such an inspiration!

2. Lyrics

As I mentioned earlier both songs cover similar territory. For want of a better description, they are both party anthems that urge the listener to embrace who they are and just have fun. However, the execution is quite different. P!nk promotes the irresponsible consumption of alcohol to convey her message on "Raise Your Glass", while Ke$ha not only finds religion ("Got Jesus on my necklace") - she also gives her fans a step by step guide to having a good night out. Take her stunning fashion advice:

I’ve got that glitter on my eyes
Stockings ripped all up the side
Looking sick and sexy-fied

She then outlines the perfect night out:

We’re sellin’ our clothes, sleepin’ in cars
Dressin’ it down, hittin’ on dudes (HARD!)

Amazing! On the other hand all P!nk can offer is this:

Don’t be fancy, just get dancey

EPIC FAIL. I think "Raise Your Glass" is the party anthem for nanas who want to sit at home and swig Sherry. Ke$ha is so down with the youth of today!

3. Production

"We R Who We R" is a different sound for Ke$ha. It's more dance than the heavy electro of her previous singles. Some deluded H8TRZ have compared the song to Usher's "DJs Got Us Falling In Love" but Queen Ke$ha would never lower herself to jumping on someone else's bandwagon. She is the last great innovator in pop! I partiuclarly love the ingenious use of autotune and subtle splashes of rave and techno. Unfortunately, "Raise Your Glass" sounds like every other song Max Martin and Dr Luke have written for Katy Perry and Kelly Clarkson. That's not necessarily a bad thing but P!nk has been recycling this sound since "I'm Not Dead". I miss the "Try This" days when she was still creative and real. As a result....

Ke$ha Wins!