Lissie live at The Metro

American folk pop sensation Lissie has been on my radar since lending her sublime vocals to "The Longest Road" - a unusually sparse and organic dance anthem I featured on the blog way back in 2008. Since then the talented singer has steadily built her profile with a gorgeous EP and critically acclaimed album that charted well throughout Europe and made my 2010 'best of' countdown. Given her burgeoning popularity, I was kind of surprised to hear she was touring Australia as Megan Washington's support act but I reasoned that two clinically depressed divas for the price of one was kind of awesome and went along to last night's concert with high expectations. And I was completely under Lissie's spell from the moment she appeared on stage dressed like a 45 year old suburban lesbian.

The low maintenance American opened the show with a beautiful rendition of "Wedding Bells" that gave me goosebumps. Her voice is so pure and effortless, it can't help but move you. Next up was album track "Record Collector", followed by her top 5 Norwegian smash "When I'm Alone". Words can't describe how much this song means to me. It's been a friend to me since mid-last year and should have been a worldwide hit. The track sounds even better live and is ripe for a re-release. I worried that it would all be downhill from there but then she broke into "Bully" and those fears disappeared. What a perfect piece of dusty Americana. Lissie then dragged indie favourite Washington on stage for a duet version of "Everywhere I Go". It sounded amazing but unfortunately highlighted who the real (vocal) talent is and she doesn't share a name with an American city.

After saying goodbye to Megan and talking about how much she loves touring Australia, Lissie served up two album cuts - the haunting "In Sleep" and uplifting "Little Lovin'". I assumed she would close the show with her catchy European single "Cuckoo" but she surprised fans by singing Kid Cudi's "Pursuit Of Happiness" instead. She explained that they both come from the same part of America and made the song her own with a fiery cover that reminded me of a female Bruce Springsteen circa "Nebraska". Lissie's version is on the tour edition of "Catching A Tiger" - just in case you need another excuse to buy it! The show couldn't have been more low key. There were no bells and whistles. Just a woman with raw talent, a guitar and a couple of weathered looking bandmates. I can't wait to see her again.

Katy Perry - Live In Sydney (4 May 2011)

When did Katy Perry become so fucking amazing? I liked "One Of The Boys" but apart from the fabulous singles it wasn't particularly memorable. And then out of nowhere, she delivers one of the best pop albums in recent memory - complete with brilliant videos and an iconic image transformation. In the process she made chart history by scoring four consecutive #1 hits in America (with a possible fifth on the way) and lifted herself above Britney and Xtina on the pop hierarchy. I was interested to see how the new and improved Katy Perry would come off live and it was a very pleasant surprise. Gone is the faux angst that tinged her first Australian tour. The diva now only has one thing on her mind and that's FUN. Bright colours, cute gimmicks and upbeat pop anthems reigned supreme at last night's California Dreams show. It was a bit clumsy and often came off as a big budget Rock Eisteddfod entry but it ranks a close second behind Ke$ha as my favourite concert of 2011.

Pop's new princess began the show with a black and white video montage, which finds Katy cast as an unwilling and incompetent apprentice butcher who is bullied by her boss and dreams of working with baked goods. I'm not making this up! She then gets a magical cupcake from a super hot guy at her local bakery, goes to bed and falls into an Alice In Wonderland-esque alternate reality. She then sets out on a journey to find her missing cat. The storyline isn't that dissimilar to the narrative that ran through Gaga's Monster's Ball but the tone is completely different. While Mother Monster strives to be dark and different, Katy's world looks like Hello Kitty threw up all over it. The emphasis is on cute and kitsch but it works - largely due to the superstar's doll-like beauty and charm. She kicked off the show proper with "Teenage Dream" and the undeniable anthem sounded a lot better live than I expected. After seeing some of her recent TV performances, I was a bit worried about her voice but she was in fine form last night. Next was "Hummingbird Heartbeat" followed by one of my faves from her debut "Waking Up In Vegas".

The next segment was probably the controversial but arguably the most entertaining. Katy is duped into eating a "magical brownie" - ie. the bitch is stoned off her tits - and starts hallucinating. She then breaks into "Ur So Gay" before attaching some feathers to her butt to sing "Peacock". I still lapprove of that ridiculous trash and would love for it to be single 7 or 8 from "Teenage Dream". I'm not being facetious. She could easily release that many tracks from the album. And I'm sure they would all be hits. The 26-year-old moved on to "I Kissed A Girl" after that and channelled her inner 1950s bombshell in a gorgeous gown. She is so pretty up close. It's breathtaking. I'm not really sure about the jazz-tastic performance of her breakthrough hit though but I loved hearing "Circle The Drain" live. That is probably my least favourite song from "Teenage Dream" but it's a link to the old Katy and she rocked it. Next was "ET" - complete with a straight jacket dance routine she stole from Kylie circa 1997 - but I am obsessed with the song and loved every second of it.

It was finally time to move away from the hits and sing a couple of "Teenage Dream" album tracks. I always considered "Who Am I Living For?" a bit of a stinker but I have a whole new appreciation for it now. The same goes for "Pearl" - which was partly-performed sitting on two acrobats, hovering over the stage. It was exquisite. Just as pretty was "Not Like The Movies". This needs to be a future single if they are too stupid to go with the hit-in-waiting "The One That Got Away". The depth of good material on "Teenage Dream" is unbelievable but a ballad would be a nice change of pace. Speaking of change-ups, Katy's already famous karaoke segment was a blast. She pretended to take requests (but sang the same old songs as every other stop on the tour) and then promised to kiss an audience member if they knew all four. For the record Ms Perry belted out Rihanna's "Only Girl In The World", Jay Z's "Big Pimpin'", Rebecca Black's "Friday" - AMAZING! - and Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair". After that she was carried into the audience to pash a crying and shaking teenage girl. Katy is so down with the gays!

The adorable diva then dedicated "Thinking Of You" to Australia and said she didn't think she would be playing a venue like the Entertainment Centre so soon. I'm not surprised. I remember seeing her at the Enmore theatre in 2009 and all she had on stage with her was a band and microphone. How times have changed! "Hot N Cold" was another flashback to the old Katy and it brought everyone to their feet. I think I saw her magical dress changing routine on Australia's Got Talent years ago but it was still a lot of fun. Next up was single number five "Last Friday Night (TGIF)", which has been on high rotation on my iPod since the album was released in 2010. With a decent video and I remix, I can see this becoming another chart topper.

The night's most unexpected moment was a cover of Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody". It was so much fun. I loved her take on Nippy's classic and she earned extra points for dragging a bunch of hyperventilating teenagers on stage to dance with her. Katy closed the show with an impeccable performance of "Firework", a song that will go down as one of the greatest of the early 21st century. She's had trouble hitting the high notes in several TV performances but this was brilliant. As was the conclusion to the story, which finds Katy falling in love with the baker boy and returning to stage in a cupcake dress to sing "California Gurls" as an encore. Sloppy? A little. Cheesy? Very. Contrived? Somewhat. Enjoyable? Always.

Justin Bieber - Live in Sydney (April 29)

Justin Bieber live in is an utterly surreal experience. I was expecting to see hysterical tweens (and there were thousands of them at Friday night's concert) but their equally frenzied mothers and gay brothers were a bit of a surprise. Even more disturbing was the singer's highly inappropriate DJ, who warmed up the crowd - median age 12 - with Wynter Gordon's "Dirty Talk" and kept asking all the single ladies if they wanted to get with Justin. In his defence, he did play Ke$ha's "Blow" - so props for that. Then there was the slightly redundant video montage of Biebus as a child (ie. from about 2 years ago) and the King of Pop's random plea for audience members not to text and drive. I hope his fans remember that when they hit puberty and get a licence. Strangely, all these factors just made the concert more enjoyable. It was occasionally bizarre and often a little demented but never boring or predictable. Justin delivers an unforgettable hour and a half of hits and I feel lucky to have seen pop's first real phenomenon since the Spice Girls at the peak of his game.

Biebus launched his holy gospel with a couple of older songs ("Love Me" and "Bigger") from the original 2009 "My World" EP. None of the girls around me knew either song but that didn't stop them crying and screaming for Australia. The thing that really surprised me was how simple the stage was. There is no set to speak of. Just one screen, the band and a couple of dancers. At first it was a bit disconcerting but with all eyes on Justin, I guess props are kind of redundant. He eventually moved onto some newer material from "My World 2.0", including the awesome "Never Let You Go". That was followed by a stripped back segment where JB pulled a Madonna and pretended to play the guitar. "Favourite Girl" and "One Less Lonely Girl" had his disciples swooning and they even dragged an embarrassed looking tween out of the audience to be serenaded by his holiness. I was pressed - it shoulda been me!

Things started to heat up after the ballad section when Justin broke into his Usher assisted smash "Somebody To Love". He had a costume change and his new black outfit was rather stylish. There was something distinctly Michael Jackson about the costumes (down to the sequined hanky that dangled from the teen idol's back pocket) and the choreography that Justin performed with relative ease. Next up was my favourite JB track "Never Say Never", which, as hard as this may be to believe, is even more spectacular live! I loved the dance routine and was highly amused by his random thug poses. During this section Justin also performed his break-through hit "One Time" and played the drums. He's so talented! The video montages were a bit vomit inducing but the crowd loved them and the clips gave Biebus time to change into a fetching black and red hoodie. Why wasn't that available at the merchandise stand?

The last quarter of the concert was probably the most enjoyable. There were some classy pyrotechnics and a couple of fun covers. Justin paid tribute to Michael Jackson with a cute rendition of "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'" and belted out a bubblegum version of Aerosmith's classic "Walk This Way". He then slowed things right down by sitting down at the paino to sing the incredibly lovely "Down To Earth" from "My World". I don't think Biebus gets enough credit for his music. He's only really released one album and an EP but he already has a bunch of fantastic songs up his sleeve. Another example is "Eenie Meenie", which is impossible to resist whether you're 8 or 28. JB then left the stage but hurried back to ask what the audience wanted to hear as an encore. I thought the screams of "Baby" would permanently damage my ears and I had to elbow my friend to stop loudly prefacing each request with "a dingo's got my" but it was worth the hearing loss and death stares from parents. "Baby" is an undeniable modern pop classic. I can't think of a better way to end one of the most exuberant, unashamedly fun concerts I've seen in a very long time. Bring on the live CD and DVD!

Grace Jones - Live In Sydney

A couple of years ago I saw Grace Jones perform live for the first time. It was a revelation and remains one of the best concerts I have ever seen. Check out my review for a full round up. Since then, the legendary 62-year-old pop culture icon has pretty much stayed on the road. Her latest Australian tour is basically the same one she presented in 2009 - only with new costumes from famed Japanese designer Eiko Ishioka. Few artists could get away with rehashing the same show so soon after their last visit but this is Grace fucking Jones. And I would pay to watch her stuff envelopes. She is a living, breathing piece of modern history and still one of the most influential singers on the planet. No wonder Grace described Lady Gaga as a bore. She went there, did that and bought the t-shirt. In 1982. As such, I'm giving the legend a pass for last night's hugely enjoyable trainwreck of a concert.

The show kicked off after a great DJ set by Alex Taylor and the audience, largely comprised of MAGs and fag hags, went into a frenzy when the pre-recorded intro blasted over the PA. But then nothing happened. For about 10 minutes. The technical difficulties were eventually fixed and the curtain raised to the arresting sight of Grace singing "This Is Life" from under a satin sheet. It was a bit disconcerting not to see the star for an entire song but it was worth it when she emerged in a zebra outfit and white wig. Unfortunately Grace appeared to be higher than Whitney Houston and rambled incoherently about her new album "Hurricane", which she promised would be released soon. Someone really needs to tell her it hit stores in 2008. She then belted out a couple of tracks from that underrated gem but looked disorientated and demanded someone plug in a fan because she was "sweating like a racehorse". The diva then walked off stage for a very long time. To the point where some uncouth people actually started to boo.

It turned out to be a costume change and the bondage-tastic ensemble she returned to the stage in was stunning. She also seemed a lot more coherent and settled. She really nailed "William's Blood" and there was something eerily beautiful about "Devil In My Life". During the next extended costume change Grace told us about her legal woes in India where she was apparently held up on the suspicion of possessing cocaine. No comment. Her anecdotes ("I told them to keep the fucking luggage - but can I have my jewellery and music back?") were hilarious and she seemed genuinely happy to be in Sydney saying she'd like to live here. I think the legend's next career move should be reality TV or a talk show. I could listen to her gossip all night! The next segment was my favourite part of the concert. Grace emerged dressed as a giant rose and sang "Love You To Life" before breaking into "La Vie En Rose". She looked amazing shimmying across the stage in the breathtaking outfit and won back the audience when she turned around, revealing her exposed buttocks. Not bad for a 62-year-old!

If you think that's raunchy, you should have seen Grace's performance of "My Jamaican Guy" in a tiny mini-skirt and barely-there straps covering her breasts. It was truly a sight to behold. She followed that showstopping moment with "Corporate Cannibal" before delivering a disco-tastic version of "Well, Well, Well" in gravity defying sequined culottes. She then brought the crowd to their feet with an energetic performance of "Love Is The Drug". After yet another costume change, she was back on stage to perform "Libertango". I love the scary mannequin Grace danced with and was happy to hear something new added to the setlist. Next was an exact replica of the cape blowing "Hurricane" performance she closed the show with last time. It's still extremely effective but perhaps it's time for a change.

The grand finale of "Pull Up To The Bumper" and "Slave To The Rhythm" was perfection with the ageless beauty rocking the stage in an outfit that made her look like a young and pretty Nicki Minaj. Grace passed around the microphone to members of the audience and even flashed her tits. It was an awesome way to end a show that suffers from a stale setlist and extended costume changes. I love her new outfits but it's incredibly boring to wait 5 minutes between every second song. As a result the show lost momentum and seemed disjointed. Having said all that, Grace's ramblings were comedy gold and I'll be the first in line for her next visit. Maybe she just needs to record a couple of new songs first.

Bruno Mars - Live In Sydney - April 14

Bruno Mars is a weapon. He is arguably the most successful songwriter on the planet and well on his way to becoming the world's biggest male pop star. Which is surprising because there's something quite old fashioned about him. He's not setting the clubs on fire like Taio Cruz or hiding behind a sheen of urban credibility like Chris Brown. Instead he's churning out pared back songs that capture simple feelings and emotions. "Just The Way You Are" is cornier than a Dorito chip but it will be played at weddings and funerals for the next 50 years because the sentiment is genuine. The same goes for "Grenade". Anyone who has ever been fucked over can identify with that bitter anthem. Scarily, that's just the tip of the dick. "Doo-Wops & Hooligans" is bursting with hit singles and future standards. A lot of it isn't really my thing - or, at least, I didn't think so until Thursday night - but I was excited to see him live. Particularly at Luna Park's inappropriately titled Big Top, an intimate venue that recently housed flops like Goldfrapp and Scissor Sisters.

Seeing Bruno up close and personal was amazing. I knew he could hold a tune but he is the complete package, playing a variety of instruments (guitar, drum and ukulele) and dancing like a young Michael Jackson. In fact, by the end of the show, I had the feeling that Hawaii's best export since Lost could be the heir to La Toya's brother's empty throne if he keeps his shit together - such is his raw talent. He sounded incredible and won over the audience with his easy charm and cheeky humour. There's not much point going through the setlist because Bruno basically played the entire album along with his smash hit features "Billionaire" and "Nothin' On You". Highlights were "Count On Me" (my favourite from "Doo-Wops"), current single "The Lazy Song" (see the cute video below) and a smokin' hot rendition of "Our First Time" that left me pitching a tent. He also delivered awesome covers of "Billie Jean" and "Seven Nation Army" before closing with "Grenade" and "Just The Way You Are". The man with the Midas touch then came back to sing "Runaway Baby" - complete with James Brown inspired choreography. It was a brilliant way to close one of the most impressive displays I've seen in a very long time.

Snoop & Nelly - Star City Showcase

I'm not going to pretend that I'm a huge Snoop Dogg fan or a Nelly stan. But over the years they have released a lot of great music and I was excited to see them live for the first time on Friday night. The Snoop/Nelly showcase served as a warm up/pre-party for Supafest. All the acts - apart from Keri Hilson and Ciara - turned up to show their support and the mood was pretty electric. Although that could have had something to do with the open bar and small army of pole dancers positioned around the room. Nelly took the stage first and brought the crowd to their feet by dusting off all his big hits. The former band-aid wearer sang my fave "Ride Wit Me" and his iconic smash "Hot In Herre" as well as performing his famous collaborations like "Party People" (if only Fergie could have been there!), "Dilemma" and "Body On Me". He closed the set with his 2010 smash "Just A Dream" and I found myself making a mental note to track down a greatest hits compilation - surely he has one?

During the intermission I did some mingling and pinned Jessica Mauboy down long enough to politely tell her that she needs to release "Maze" as her next single. She told me it was her fave and the fans love it but Sony is going with a new song she co-wrote with Dianne Warren called "Inescapable". I'm expecting a power ballad but you never know. Anyway, she's absolutely gorgeous and I can't wait to see her support Chris Brown. I also ran into Dane Rumble and he talked about his American trip. He is so hot in person, it's ridiculous! By the time Snoop took the stage I was pretty much gone but he sang a couple of songs including "Drop It Like It's Hot" before T-Pain, Game and Busta Rhymes joined him on stage. Sparks flew. Particularly when Busta and T-Pain threw it down for a rap-off. I felt like I had seen a mini-Supafest but up close and personal in an intimate venue. I expected it to be a fun night but this was one of the best concerts I've seen all year. Even if you're not a fan, it's hard to deny the extent to which these guys have helped to shape popular music over the past 15 years. Respect.

Cyndi Lauper - Live In Sydney

Last night I got to tick another iconic diva off my "must see" list. I caught Cyndi Lauper at Mardi Gras a couple of years ago but two songs after twelve pills doesn't really count. And to be honest, I almost missed this show too. The idea of sitting through a blues set didn't fill me with excitement. There are two distinct phases of Cyndi's career that I connect with - "Bring Ya To The Brink" (my favourite album of 2008) and just about everything pre-1990. My mum was obsessed with her in the 80s and I grew up with "She's So Unusual" and "True Colors". I also vividly remember mum taking me to see Vibes in the city. Who else remembers that masterpiece? Ms Lauper played a psychic and I think it had a completely believable plot about an Incan tribe in Ecuador with supernatural powers. Please tell me it's on DVD! But back to the concert. It was a revelation. I expected the songs it to be a fairly sedate affair but from the moment Cyndi took the stage and started bouncing around like a teenager I knew I was very wrong.

The first thing that strikes you about the seemingly ageless 57-year-old (seriously, what's her secret?) is her adorable accent. The next thing is her voice, which has only become stronger with time. It is one of the most unique instruments in popular music and she put it to good use on "Just Your Fool" and "Shattered Dreams" - two of the highlights from "Memphis Blues". From then on it was a fairly even mix of old songs and blues covers. I don't know enough about the latter genre to pass judgement on their authenticity but they sounded pretty good to my uneducated ears. Particularly the uplifting "Down Don't Bother Me". More surprising was how effortlessly classics like "She Bop" and "Change Of Heart" fit into the set. The extended encore, which almost ended in drama when one of Cyndi's crazy fans started harassing the diva for asking people to sit down, included "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun", "True Colours" and the gorgeous "Rain On Me". I'd still love to catch her in pop mode one day but this was a great introduction to one of music's last originals.

All this talk about Vibes has put me in the mood for "Hole In My Heart" (below), a top 10 Australian hit for Cyndi in 1988. I need to see this movie again!

Gettin' Sleazy With Ke$ha

I have to preface this review by admitting that I'm struggling to maintain consciousness, hungover to within an inch of my life and wrapped up in my newly purchased K$ hoodie. Needless to say, I'm lovin' myself sick right but now if this write up... is complete and utter rubbish, please excuse me. It's the best I can do on 5% brain capacity. So, where to start? Ke$ha is the era defining voice of our generation. That's pretty much a universally accepted fact but it's still completely mindblowing to see her strut stuff in person. After sitting through endless concerts in which some half-arsed diva tries and fails to come across as an artiste - hello, RiRi! - it is beyond refreshing to see a skanky ho take the stage and rock her box off with no pretence or agenda. K Dollah is just there to have a good time and her energy is utterly infectious. The ironic thing is, beneath that trashy, I don't give a fuck image, lies one of the most talented women in popular music. It's a given that her lyrical genius is beyond comparison but she is also a great singer and phenomenal performer. It could just be the 35 vodka Red Bulls talking but every song sounded just as good, if not better, than it does on record - and no, she didn't mime or sing along to pre-recorded vocals. The Get Sleazy tour is raw and real. And I wish I could go again tonight.

As far as the setlist goes, I think it was pretty spot on - apart from that fact that she didn't sing my jam "Stephen". What a bitch! But I'll forgive her because she belted out all my other faves starting with "Sleazy". Seriously hearing Ke$ha sing "gonna make me cum - all over ya face" (she changed the lyrics) surrounded by a sea of 12 year old girls is one of the most defining moments of life. And to think my first concert was Kylie's "Enjoy Yourself". When I was like practically still in the womb. Next up was the killer combination of "Take It Off", new track "Fuck Him He's A DJ" and "Dirty Picture". All were performed with minimal fuss, behind a drum kit with only some neon lights for distraction but I couldn't take my eyes of K$. She was working it like a 70s punk rocker - only with really gay songs about carrying a water bottle of whiskey in your handbag.

After the restrained opening, Ke$ha came alive and prowled the stage like a wild animal - raising the roof with a brilliant rendition of "Blow". I can't believe I used to hate that song. It gets more amazing every time I hear it. That hit was followed by "Blah Blah Blah", "Party At A Rich Dude's House" and "Backstabber". Three of the highlights from her revolutionary debut. It was finally time for some jams from "Cannibal" and she started with the title track (next single please!) before taking things right down for the night's only ballad - the heartbreaking and truly gorgeous "Harold Song". I cried. Literally. She then introduced "Animal" as the best song she's ever written and it's hard to disagree. What a fucking anthem. I was glad she threw in "Dinosaur" but even more ecstatic when she dragged a cute plus sized queen out of the audience and serenaded him with "Grow A Pear". Complete with penis and pear costumes. Stunning and defining! From then on, K Dollah stuck to the hits. Closing with "Your Love Is My Drug", "Tik Tok" and "We R Who We R". What can I say? In 100 years from now when some dude is compiling the greatest hits of the 21st century all three of songs will be on it. Genius.

10/10

Wynter Gordon & Alexis Jordan At Mardi Gras

I made a complete spectacle of myself at Mardi Gras this year, so I'm going to keep this post short and sweet - before erasing what I can remember of the night from my memory forever. The rumours that Rihanna would jump in a cab and head over to Moore Park after her show at Acer Arena turned out to be a load a shit. At least, I think so because everything after 6am is a bit of a blur. Instead we were treated to the fabulous double bill of Alexis Jordan and Wynter Gordon. Seriously, who needs Riri when you can have two divas that can actually sing? First up was Alexis. I've been a huge fan of this girl from the moment I heard "Happiness" way back in May 2010. She has a huge voice and some killer tracks up her sleeve. Alexis just needs to work on her image. I know she's only young but that girl next door persona is already getting boring. Having said all that, the 18 year old did a great job at Mardi Gras. She sounded fantastic and looked cute in her blue sequined butterfly cape. Dancing is obviously not her thing but she has what it takes to develop into an amazing performer over the next few years.

The other party performer was the divine Wynter Gordon, who I ran into while queuing for the toilet. Classy. I was surprised she remembered me from our interview and wished her luck for the show. Not that she needed it. Wynter almost blew the roof of the RHI off with her spectacular performance of "Dirty Talk". Her double platinum number one hit - when is it going to be officially certified by ARIA? - was the song of the Australian summer and always destined to become a gay classic. Let's face it, we all love a song about getting our legs up on the bar in the back of someone's car. The sexy singer looked stunning in her red jumpsuit and showed genuine star quality as she prowled around the stage like a true diva. Check it out below. I was a bit surprised she didn't sing the official Mardi Gras anthem "Pride (Putting It Out There)" but I guess there was a one song limit. Wynter's follow up to "Dirty Talk" comes out in a couple of weeks and I hope it's another massive hit. She has the looks, voice and charisma to mix it with the big girls. Oh and I should also give props to Seamus Haji for the night's best DJ set. He even played Mimi's "Touch My Body". Bless.

Rihanna - Live In Sydney

I have issues with Rihanna. She knows her way around a killer single better than anyone - as her impressive chart run attests - but the poor man's Shontelle is yet to release a decent album and I just don't buy her frequent image changes. Is she the edgy Grace Jones wannabe from "Rated R" or the happy go lucky sex addict circa "Loud"? Riri strikes me as the ultimate record company product - a blank canvas tarted up by a panel of music execs to fit the latest trend - but she tops the charts more regularly than Toni Braxton files for bankruptcy, so who am I to judge? I guess I was just hoping to catch a glimpse of the woman behind the machine at last night's concert. It didn't happen. There is something incredibly impersonal about Rihanna. She came across as surprisingly sweet, looked absolutely stunning and, when she wasn't miming or singing over a backing track, sounded less offensive than I remember. But the Bajan beauty still seemed to be going through the motions. Regardless, it was a fun show and I would go back and see her again. She just needs to watch Beyoncé's "I Am... World Tour" DVD on repeat for a couple of days to see how a real diva does it.

The show began on a high. Riri emerged from under a catwalk to sing along to a recording of "Only Girl (In The World)". She looked beautiful in a long red wig and dress made of flowers and appeared a lot more at ease than she did during the "Rated R" numbers. I should point out that Rihanna brought her "Last Girl On Earth" tour to Australia (ie. the "Rated R" tour) not the "Loud" tour she's about the kick off in the States. Happily, she threw in a couple of new songs - all of which sounded better than the dirge from her last album. Speaking of crap, "Hard" was next. That was followed by a rock version of "Shut Up And Drive". You couldn't really understand a word she was singing but it was probably for the best. After yet another "Rated R" stinker - "Fire Bomb" - things livened up again with a eerie rendition of "Disturbia". I had forgotten how awesome that song is. I went for a piss when I heard the opening verse of "Rockstar 101" but, happily, I made it back to see Ri-cycle mime "S&M". Her performance was great and I'm slowly coming around to "Loud". She just seems so happy and relaxed singing along to songs from that album. It's kind of contagious! The fun part of the first half concluded with one of the highlights from "Rated R". A filthy rendition of "Rude Boy". M.I.A. would be so proud.

Sitting through a live Rihanna ballad medley is almost enough to make you forgive Chris Brown. "Hate That I Love You" sounded retched, "Love The Way You Lie" (an absolutely epic song) just made the grade, while her wailing through "Unfaithful" solved Sydney's pigeon problem. I was genuinely excited when Riri switched it up by belting out her lesbian stalker anthem "Te Amo". I still think it is one of the best tracks she's ever recorded. That was followed by "What's My Name?" and a roof raising performance of "Don't Stop The Music". Girlfriend should have kept the old school hits coming. Where was "We Ride" and "Pon De Replay"? Instead we got "Breakin' Dishes" and a cover of "The Glamorous Life" - an obvious and appreciated nod to Australia's iconic queen of pop Melissa Tkautz. "Let Me" and "SOS" weren't particularly memorable - probably because she gave them the shitty "Rated R" rock treatment, but I loved her rendition of "Take A Bow". Which is probably my favourite Rihanna song of all time. It was as good a point as any to end the concert. Even though Riri didn't get the standing ovation they were obviously hoping for when they turned the camera on the audience. Rudeness, Sydney. Her encore was a crappy medley of "Wait Your Turn", "Live Your Life" (another fave of mine) and "Run This Town" - which included footage of Bey's husband. Aww. Rihanna's final number was a monumentally fabulous take on "Umbrella" - while suspended above the stage on what appeared to be a giant pogo stick with jets blowing pieces of red tinsel into the air. A cute way to end a pleasant if not mindblowing show.