X-Files--"Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man"

I am a history buff along with possessing an interest in why people believe in conspiracy theories (It has much to do with the need to see patterns in events. I suppose as a Calvinist, I should not complain.) so “Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man” is one of my favorite episodes of The X-Files. it tells one biography of the Cigarette Smoking Man, (“CSM”) but not necessarily the truth. That is a point many fans miss in their Olympian efforts to reconcile how, in this episode, CSM could be born in 1940, yet be a clandestine operative with Bill Mulder in 1953 as shown in previous episodes. It is because “Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man” is not the truth. It is fun. Just go with it.

The premise is that Frohike of the Lone Gunmen has uncovered the life and times of CSM. Born in 1940 to a Communist sympathizer father and soon to be dead of lung cancer mother, CSM spent his childhood in orphanages until he joined the army, from which he was recruited into his black ops career. The CSM sets up Lee Harvey Oswald for the JFK assassination, James Earl Ray for MLK’s, rigs the Miracle on Ice at the 1980 Olympics, keeps the Buffalo Bills from winning the Super Bowl, takes part in the execution of a crashed EBE, and eventually, follows closely the exploits of one Special Agent Fox Mulder as he chips away at the conspiracy theory CSM has made his latter career.

It is next to impossible to reconcile events with real history, and I think that is the point. What we have seen of CSM thus far in other episodes seems the more plausible truth. Nevertheless, it is amusing to see the supposed interworkings of a man like CSM. He is a man who has alleged shaped modern history almost singlehandedly, yet aspires to be little more than a pulp fiction writer. The CSM is embittered by his experience as an assassin because his name will forever remain unknown--an in joke, as no matter how much info Frohike has on him, will still never learn his name even though even though every character must know at least an alias he goes by. All he has is the possibility of translating his exploits to a pulp fiction character he created, but gets rejected for over thirty years before finally getting a yes. His story is changed by the publisher, in many ways destroying Csm more than the weight of his past actions. It is a less than subtle reminder the pen is mightier than the sword.

I enjoyed the other, subtle references scattered throughout. The CSM’s bunkmate in the army is Bill Mulder, who tells him his son just said his first word--JFK. Mulder started early with the penchant for conspiracies. CSM is invited to spend Christmas with some of his co-conspirators, but declines by saying he has family to visit. He passes by Mulder’’s office in the next scene, further fueling speculation he is mulder’s real father. Later on, there will be a sly revelation that is not true when Chris Owen, who plays the young CSM here, will join the cast as Agent Jeffrey Spendrer, who turns out to be CSM’s son.

The homage of things beyond The X-Files are great, too. The Csm is essentially E. Howard Hunt, a black ops guy who fancied himself a writer, too. The scene in which CSM is assigned to kill JFK is a direct lift from Apocalypse Now. Lee Harvey Oswald kills Officer Tippett, who was played by David Duchovny in Ruby. The CSM gives J. Edgar Hoover a dressing down over MLK, right down to his bra and pumps, I guess.

(Digression: speaking of MLK, this is one of the few times, fictional or otherwise, I have seen it mentioned the government is afraid he will convince blacks to dodge the draft. Generally speaking, very little is said about MLK between his “I Have a Dream” speech and his assassination because of his anti-war activities in between. His extra-marital affairs may have something to do with that, too. The man had his sinful weaknesses. He is never referred to as Reverend, either, furthering covering the fact he was a Christian, because you certainly do not want to credit the motivation of the civil rights movement being Christianity. Definitely cannot have that. End of digression.)

The entire episode is a more bitter Forrest Gump. The CSM plays a vital part in much of modern history, albeit doing so deliberately rather than inadvertently as Gump does. The proactive nature of his actions and the awareness of the consequences weighs heavily upon him. He does not maintain his innocence as Gump does, as evidenced by his less rosy comparison of life to a box of chocolates:

"Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with this undefinable whipped mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while there's a peanut butter cup or an english toffee but they're gone too fast and taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits of hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts. If you're desperate enough to eat those, all you got left is an empty box filled with useless brown paper wrappers."

Ouch.

Even if the episode is not likely in continuity, even though there is no x-file, and even though mulder and scully only appear in archival footage, “Musings of a cigarette Smoking man” is one of the best episodes of the series. It is an intriguing look inside the mind of the mysterious villain without destroying any of his mystique. That is not easy to do, folks.

Rating: ***** (out of 5)